A Little More About Me

It was November. I had no idea where I was, or what was going on, but I was warm and I was comfortable. I was not ready to leave just yet. The space I was in, once large enough, seemed to be getting tighter, squashing me and forcing me to downwards. It went from dark to bright-white light in a flash, I couldn’t focus, and my head was spinning…

 

13 days late. 22 hours of labour… Wednesday…. I already hated Wednesdays.

 

In hindsight, it feels like I was born with the weight of the world on my shoulders. Little did I know then of the struggles, I would face as a child. How they would follow me through my teenage years and into my young adult life. I certainly did not anticipate the relevance and impact it would all have on my journey as an artist.

 

Creativity came naturally, with a vivid imagination that I used in every possible way that I could.

The usual progression of School, College and University, a bachelor’s degree in Fine Art with honours. Although I always wanted to be an artist, my direction was… limited. I decided to teach for a few years before my life took one last dramatic turn for the worse…

 

After what had been up until this point a lifetime of confusion, pain and sadness, I was finally given the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. What seems like the end can often be the beginning of something beautiful. For the first time, I was able to gain an understanding of why my brain seemed to work the way it did.

 

Unable to work a ‘normal’ job whilst in recovery, I decided to go back to my creative roots and to find a new hobby for me to embark on. It was at this moment the butterfly came into my life in a very significant way.

 

The fragility of the butterfly resonated, and reflected my current mental state. The elegance of the patterns on the butterflies took shape in the form of the complexity of the mind. It was breathtakingly beautiful. After pinning my first few I felt a frenzy coming on. I was instantly addicted.

 

I studied videos and read blogs before I divulged. I made my own boards to pin specimens on, buying books to help me identify every species. I genuinely had no idea what I was getting myself into, but it kept me focused.

 

All of which leads me here.